back to school

  • The Academy, Uncategorized

    Back to School Pt 3: 10 things I’m grateful for

    Gratitude is a daily practice that shouldn’t be reserved for the holiday season–and I failed at keeping a gratitude journal.  Here are 10 things I’m grateful for at the start of this school year…..

    affection appreciation decoration design
    Photo by Carl Attard on Pexels.com
    1. I have my own office with mood lighting that I can use to do work. In NYC, space is a premium, so as a perk of being a co-chair for a student organization, I get access to this very special space that serves as a closet, pantry, mini-yoga studio and of course a work space.
    2. I’ve never had to pay for school.  The fact that I’ve never had to pay for school is a very clear sign to me that there is a calling on my life and that there is some higher power guiding my steps.  I feel like there’s something that I’m being asked to do.  So many of my colleagues and friends have the burden of student loans, and I can’t imagine having to go through school making so little and owing so much more.
    3. My friends and close colleagues. In all honestly, I feel a bit socially estranged from the people in my cohort; however, over the years I’ve been able to cultivate relationships with people not in my department.  Thanks to my scholarship society, my student organization and a spirit of bravery to take classes in different disciplines, I’ve met people I actually really like. We’re not besties, but it helps to not feel so alone.
    4. I live in NYC! Never in my life would I have thought that I would live in New York nonetheless with little financial burden (reference #2).  The fact that there are so many resources here like the Arturo Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture and the King Juan Carlos Center at NYU means that I get to interact with a plethora of different people and to attend lots of different events.  The city is my campus, and it’s pretty dope.
    5. I’ve learned just as much academically as I have personally in the last 5 years. When I tell people that my program is on average 7 years, they usually balk, and I respond that had I better guidance, I wouldn’t be in this situation.  At the same time; however, I’m really glad that this time has allowed me to, in short, figure shit out.  I really feel like I have a far better understanding of who I am as a person, and this wouldn’t be possible without the stability that I’ve gotten from having to be in the same place for so long.
    6. I have an amazing roommate. In undergrad, there was a verifiable uptick in my grades when I decided to live in a single room and stop trying to ‘make friends’ with the random strangers who I got paired with in the housing lottery.  All of my housing situations since then have involved roommates.  This is the first time, that I really feel like I got it right.  She is friendly, clean and pays her rent on time.  It really is a game changer to come home to a house that can be a refuge from the stress of everyday life.
    7. I have professors and mentors who will really go to bat for me.  My squad. I would never tell them this, but there is one professor who I consider my academic mom, and my mentors are my play aunties. They are already at the top of the “people to thank in my dissertation introduction” document I keep on my computer. #fictivekin
    8. Teaching is a choice.    It is no secret that most institutions of higher education run on part time labor thereby leaving a huge pool of people without any real job security.  Because of my fellowship, I actually don’t have to teach at all.  Now that teaching is a choice, I feel like I can enjoy it rather than it being something that is forced upon me. It’s honestly a huge privilege (and responsibility) to be a black female anthropology lecturer–that’s rare.   I had one Black anthropology professor during undergrad in my senior year.  I remember the first time I came across Black Feminist Anthropology, and how my love for Johnetta B. Cole started.   Now, I get to be the face of what anthropology can be for people, and that’s powerful.
    9. Insurance. I absolutely love my dentist and getting my teeth cleaned.  My therapist is the goat.  My dermatologist looks like me.  My insurance isn’t great, but I’ve found some really great people.
    10. I’m breaking generational curses. As hard as this journey has been and continues to be, I know that I’m setting my future family up to have a fulfilling and thriving life–you’re welcome.

    Your turn. What are you grateful for these days?  How are you keeping these things in the forefront of your mind–morning routine, gratitude journal, some fancy app?

  • The Academy, Uncategorized

    Back to School Pt 2: Goal Setting with Soul

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    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

    –Fortune cookie quote I found on my floor–

    This is my last full semester in NYC, and I am more than halfway through my PhD program.  I’ve officially crossed the Rubicon.  While I am proud of how far I’ve come, I feel like I’m in this gray area where I’m part student-part professional.  I don’t have classes with professors, but I have a four person committee who are expecting me to independently read and write in preparation for my February qualifying exam.   Additionally, I have 80 students of my own who keep calling me professor when my salary falls far short of the title.  Who am I, and what am I doing with my life?

    I can’t definitively say that I know what I want to do when I graduate, but I do know that I need to finish this program in the short term.  The what is clear.  The how, not so much.

    In terms of getting through this semester, I know that I must be super clear about what I want to accomplish and what is actually worth my time.   In addition to teaching and studying, I am a research assistant, I have two undergraduate mentees, I’m a member of various social organizations, I volunteer and I still need time to watch Insecure on Sunday night. How sway???

    A good friend bought me a copy of The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul for my birthday this year, and it really helped me to reorient how I think about goal setting.  The main premise of the book is that often times, people take on tasks in hopes that it will make them feel a certain way — smart, confident, proud, etc. –but once the goal is accomplished, that desired feeling is rarely there.  Essentially, most people have it backwards.  The author suggests that we need to first get clear on how we want to feel, and then use those core desired feelings to guide the tasks that we pursue.  My core desired feelings are: Self-confident, Happy, Intimate and Competent.  For me, a lot of the goals are the same (I need to pass my qualifying exam come hell or high water), but the motivation behind it has changed.

    I’m not waiting for my committee’s final decision to make me feel like a competent person.  The fact that I can hold myself accountable to a regular study schedule, familiarize myself with a body of literature and then defend my ideas in front of a group of people is the real why.  It would be foolish to put my feelings in the hands of others and to delay feelings of self adequacy to a date five months away–that may or may not come to pass.

    So, what does this look like on the ground? How am I going about making this happen for myself?  I’m super type A and a strong believer in writing things down and making it plain.  I create a chart where I set annual goals and then break them down by quarters and by the month (I’d love to do weekly, actually). This chart is posted by my mirror, so I see it everyday.  I also keep a daily running to do list to keep me on track. I get a lot of satisfaction crossing things off.  A mentor suggested to me the idea of putting things in the ‘cue’ so that I don’t unintentionally prioritize other people’s needs and wants before what I’ve already established is a priority.  In short, it’s a ‘it can wait’ philosopy.  Finally, I recently started using Google Calendar and downloaded the app on my phone.  I was hesitant because I’ve always had a paper planner, but I must say it’s nice having my schedule so easily accessible.

    (This year, I begrudgingly made a vision board, put it in the corner of my room, and to be honest, a lot of things have come to fruition–still not so patiently waiting for Denzel or Kofi to appear.)

    I struggle with not judging myself based on my level of productivity because if I don’t produce, I don’t eat.  That’s just the hard reality; however, I really try to be intentional about having compassion for myself in all of this.   There are enough people who are going to treat me like a machine, so I can’t also be complicit in that.  I know that I will fall short and may not get everything that I set out to do, but the fact is that I at least take myself seriously enough to try.  I will have compassion and love for myself regardless.

    So here are my goals:

    Academic 

    • Pass my second qualifying exam with distinction
    • Establish a reading schedule where I have time to review
    • Send reminders–I think I subconsciously  have an issue with holding people accountable for the commitments they make to me especially when it’s for something I don’t want them to show up to–like anything that would require me to put on an academic dog and pony show

    Work

    • Answer emails within 48 hours–I have strong boundaries about weekends and holidays, however
    • Provide challenging yet engaging content for each of my classes-work smarter not harder

    Personal

    • Keep up with a regular workout schedule at least three times a week
    • Dance!
    • Limit my spending

    So, putting your desired feelings first,  how do you want to feel this semester? What goals are you setting out to accomplish that would allow you to feel this way?

  • Exercise, Saving Money, The Academy

    Back to School Pt 1: Shopping & Saving

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    brown pencil on black and green book
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    As I prepare for my 22nd year of school, I realize how much the meaning of ‘back to school shopping’ has evolved for me.  When I was younger, it meant a new outfit, a hard cover binder and my mom’s money.  Now, I’m far more selective when deciding on what I actually need because back to school shopping money comes from the same pot as rent and food.  So, in all of my years of back to school season, the most effective tips I’ve learned for saving money are:

    1. Keep your old notebooks.  Instead of buying new notebooks, tear out the used pages and store them in a folder with the course syllabus and other relevant handouts.  Use the older and lighter notebook for the new semester.  This helps with reducing clutter too.
    2. Stock up on supplies at new student programming.  Be humble, take the free pens, post it notes, water bottles, etc. and save your coins.
    3. Try to find a digital copy online or buy it used.  Half of the books I bought in undergrad and a quarter of the ones I bought in grad school are probably sitting in a box somewhere collecting dust.  You don’t have to buy it new.  I actually really enjoy buying gently used books especially when other people leave their (light) comments so I can get a sense of how other people interpreted the text.
    4. Thrift stores and consignment shops for clothes.  This can be time consuming, but if you find some good pieces, it’s totally be worth it.   I don’t buy used workout clothes, but I am a fan of places like Ross and TJ Maxx, which usually have pretty good prices on their athletic clothes and equipment.

    When I taught high school, ‘back to school shopping’ had very little to do with me and everything to do with my classroom.  I had a frequent buyer account at Office Max, and I would literally just buy entire boxes of spiral notebooks and binders.  I wore out my FedExKinkos discount like no other.  I loved my kids.

    Now that I’m a  graduate student, I’m not making nearly as much money, and I don’t have to decorate and provide supplies for my own classroom–teachers don’t get enough credit (literally and figuratively).  This time around, what I’m buying is more about me, which is nice.  I’m teaching 3 days out of the week, and I’m not taking any classes, so I didn’t have very much time to shop.  Here are the few things I did pick up:

    1. Work attire. 3 new shirts from Express, 1 pair of pants from Old Navy, 2 pairs of flats from DSW
    2. 2 folders. the one I repurposed was falling apart.
    3. A nice thermos. I’ve found that having tea or something warm to drink when I have to do public speaking helps calm me down.  I already have one that I keep in my office.
    4. Dance classes. as an act of pre-emptive self care, I signed up for a salsa performance team.  The ten week commitment is a little daunting because I can’t always anticipate my workload even though I’ve tried to plan as much as possible. I think having  forced exercise that I actually enjoy will be a great stress reliever.  If nothing else, I already payed for it, so I plan to be there.
    5. Spanish classes. This is the only way I’ve found to really hold myself accountable for maintaining and improving my fluency.

    All of that pretty much took my first paycheck before I even got it #adulting; however, I trust that the return will be far greater.  I’m proud that I made these purchases with my overall well-being in mind. So, ‘back to school shopping’ is back to being about me, but I definitely have a better understanding of what, as an almost- ABD-grad-student, is going to help me feel confident and comfortable.

    Are you purchasing anything new for the semester?  Are you recycling anything? Is back to school shopping just another capitalist gimmick to get us to spend our coins? Let me know.