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Finally…..

While I planned to take it easy and have a “staycation” this Spring Break, I’m actually trapped at home because of a temporarily disfiguring cosmetic procedure #rookiemistake.   I’m choosing to see the fact that I’m being forced to occupy myself with myself as a blessing.  All things considered, I’m grateful to have this time to get some work done and also to reflect on the first quarter of 2018.  This season of my life has been a long, extensive and challenging lesson on breaking productively (read: trusting myself that pain and unexpected events are working for my good), so here is my attempt to keep that going.

So what have I been up to?????

For school related things,  I’ve done my fair share of reading about post-socialist states in Eurasia #sexy and put the final touches on my course’s final examination requirements.  I’ve really struggled this semester with prioritizing my own research, so that will be my priority going in to the week.  I have to prepare a presentation for an upcoming conference on my research from last summer, and I will continue reading for my qualifying exam next spring.  Essentially, time is moving faster than I can read, write and memorize.

In terms of health, and especially because I’m stuck in my apartment, my health goals are pretty simple.  I’ve been doing the Nike Training Club yoga workouts in the morning as part of my daily routine.  Also, I’m challenging myself to drink a gallon of water a day.  Honestly, I thought that it’d be harder than it is.  Today is day 3, and the worst thing is just that I’m using the restroom like every 30 minutes.  I’m sure my roommate probably thinks something is up (I’ll make sure to buy the next few rolls of t.p.).  Most of all, I’m enjoying the fact that I can indulge in self-care that I didn’t have to schedule.  I washed my hair today and did my nails.  It must be Spring Break.

I still have an entire week of Break ahead of me, so I hope to be still while I heal.  Here’s to breaking productively this spring 2018.

I, like most of the people I know, have been super hype about Black Panther.  The depiction of Black superheroes in a mainstream film, Black love, a non colonized African nation, etc.  While no movie is perfect, and there’s lots to debate, I wanted to direct my attention to the depiction of black women in the film particularly, the Dora Milaje or the “Adored Ones.”  These women are strong, fearless, beautiful, and not so surprisingly, underrated. These characters, I learned, parallel the all woman warrior group of the Dahomey who were responsible for protecting their king. Essentially, we’ve been doing this.

Just in terms of aesthetics,  what I appreciated is that these women didn’t have to have 24-inch deep body wave hair, an equally curvaceous body and pass the brown paper bag test with flying colors. To see them all with short hair cuts and dark skin, was every bit of beautiful to me and obviously a stark contrast to mainstream Euro American beauty standards. They were the exact opposite of that and were, relatively speaking, respected by their community (the extent of that love and trust is questionable). When Danai Gurira took her wig off and threw it as a distraction during one of the fight scenes, I was done–for a minute, I contemplated cutting my hair too, but I’m in love with my locs.

Moreover, I appreciated seeing that these women were also loved and pursued by Black men. Their mental and physical strength was what made them attractive.  I wish that was more of the norm in real life, but maybe the film will start to broaden people’s understanding of all that beauty has the potential to be.  These characters were honesty really important to  me because I’ve always had an ‘athletic build’ and especially muscular arms, and in many cases, I’ve spent endless time debating whether or not the straps on a shirt were too small to balance out my physique.

Fuck it. I’m strong, and I look like it.

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I’m about three weeks in to the new semester and waking up early seems to be a sisiphysian task.  Why I thought I would just snap into a routine once the semester started, I don’t know, but I have been thoroughly stripped of that illusion.  I  remember when I was in undergrad and my roommate and I were strict about sleeping from 11 pm-7am, but nowadays getting up isn’t as easy as it used to be.  Also, unlike undergrad, I’m drinking coffee on a regular basis, which I used to reserve for only dire situations.  My goal is to wake up at 6:30 am and go to sleep at 10:30 pm, but I’m struggling.

So what’s holding me up?  First and foremost, with all of this cold weather, all I want to do is to stay snuggled up under the covers.  Secondly, I know that I stay up later than I should especially when I have a class to teach in the morning–I’m usually up preparing a powerpoint or spending way too much time giving comments on reading responses.  My class starts at 9:30, but in order to give myself time to commute and arrive in time to prep, I like to leave my house by 8/8:15 at the latest.  My getting at least 8 hours of sleep will surely be a benefit to my students who won’t have to try to decipher a lecture from a groggy instructor.

Generally, time management seems to be the over arching theme of this part of my life (Saturn’s returning in a big way), so I’ve been trying to implement some strategies which haven’t worked full scale, but which seem to have me on the right track.  More than anything, I just need to be in bed earlier–how long it takes me to fall asleep is a different story.  Being more effective with the time I have during waking/working hours is also important, so I’ve been forcing myself to write to-do lists on a daily basis.  Working out is obviously a big help, but I have to ensure that I eat enough to compensate for the calories lost (There’s a 7 am exercise class that I really like, but again….it’s cold outside).  And finally, I just need to be realistic.  I’m more likely to see changes over 15 minute increments or so rather than overnight.

Yes, there are books to read and emails to write, but if I’m true to myself, I’m just not willing to sacrifice sleep on a regular basis.  Cheers to catching some zzzs in my snuggy.

I know that yoga is supposed to be calming about practice rather than perfection, but there are some poses that I absolutely dread.  Last night, I went to yoga and when it came to pigeon pose, I was the one person squirming around watching everybody else who had their head down as they were “breathing into the pose.”  Over the years, I’ve gotten better by using a block and trying to do the pose for about 20 seconds on each side when I’m stretching after a workout, but it is still pretty uncomfortable.  In an effort to be more intentional about my yoga practice I’ve outlined my top 3 favorites,  frustrations and fun poses.

Favorites

1. Triangle Pose- I could do this all day
2. Happy Baby-It’s fun
3. Dancer-It’s Beautiful

Frustrations

1. Pigeon Pose
2. Standing Extended leg touching your toe pose–trying to describe it hurts
3. Headstands

Fun

1. Bird of Paradise
2. Sage Twist